Review of "Growing up Amish"

I have recently been exploring the topic of Christian masculinity on this blog, and intend to continue addressing faith, courage and wisdom in future posts.  However, I recently read a book which I would like to share a few thoughts about, and am interjecting this review for this week's post.

I discovered the book "Growing up Amish" while shopping this past week. I was in Sam's Club to pick up some milk, etc. and as I wandered the aisles for a few moments I decided to browse for a book to read.  This particular book appealed to me, as I know very little about the faith and culture of the "simple" lifestyle practiced by some of patients and families I encounter as a hospital chaplain.  In my service in Michigan and Indiana, I have met Amish, Mennonite and German Baptist families, and have been intrigued by some of the customs, dress, family and church support structures, etc. As I read a few paragraphs from the book, I thought it might offer a window into the culture and faith represented by the title.  I also enjoy biographies, and it quickly became apparent that this was the early life story of a man who was sharing his journey and struggle to develop an individual life and faith incorporating elements of his youthful milieu and "rebellious" elements of a self-chosen path.

"Growing up Amish" is the memoir of Ira Wagler, the son of a widely-known writer within the Amish community.  As he grew up in his large family and strict culture, Ira rebelled at various points in his life.  He left his Iowa home at 17 to work as a cowboy on a Nebraska ranch, but returned to his home, family and church.  Several more episodes of leaving, but being drawn back, occurred before his final breach with the Amish church and culture at the age of 26.  He refers to the 20+ years which have passed since that breach in the epilogue, but the book is primarily the story of a young Amish boy who becomes a man with a deep but separate faith from his early influence.

I did find some of the insights into the faith and culture that I had hoped for, and think it will prove useful in my chaplaincy interactions with some of our patients and families.  Ira provides a helpful background to the German Anabaptist roots of the Amish tradition, and offers his personal criticisms of some of the dry stoicism balanced with a respect for the strength of tradition and interdependence.  He is able to honestly share his frustrations with some of the lengthy, boring services he attended without losing sight of the generosity and care exhibited by the close-knit communities. I learned more about the "Rumspringa," or "running around" time some Amish youth experience after turning 16.  I also found the ministerial selection process of the community described here both fascinating and troubling. Additional details were also provided about the tradition of utilizing a horse and buggy for local transportation, but having an openness to hiring "English" drivers to transport people and goods long distances by automobile when necessary.  I first encountered this practice in Michigan, when an Amish child came into our ED after a farming accident.  The Amish community was a couple of hours' drive from our facility, and the child required inpatient admission.  I was vaguely aware of the horse-and-buggy tradition, and decided to ask if transportation would be problematic during the hospital stay.  The family politely thanked me for my concern, but informed me that they had hired a driver who would stay with them as needed, and would return if necessary as well. I was hopeful that this apparent contradiction between refusing to own an automobile, but riding in one when needed, would be explained further.  I do think I have a better understanding of the principled but pragmatic stance of the community after reading this book. While this was not a doctrinal treatise of the Amish church, the references permeating this account do give me a richer understanding of the traditions and practices, which I think will be useful to me in ministry.

My greatest benefit, however, was the pleasure of reading an enjoyable biographical account of a man coming of age and struggling with his relationships with family, friends and God.  His stories of hard work on the farm, family joys and disagreements, and romantic relationships and struggles resonated deeply with my own life experiences.  I appreciated the openness and simplicity of the author's voice, and felt that I was being invited into a conversation about his life and faith.

I would recommend the book highly, especially to other readers interested in biography, faith and simple lifestyles.

Christian Masculinity: Compassion

In my last post, I asked "What is a man?" and referred to 4 characteristics that I think are essential for Christian masculinity.  In this entry, I intend to explore the first one more thoroughly, "Compassion."


The example of Joseph in Matthew 1-2 provides insight into what a man can and should be.  My faith leads me to believe that God was quite particular about the man who would be primarily responsible for modeling human masculinity to the incarnate Christ, and we can learn from the hints we are given in the few passages of Scripture which refer to Joseph's character.  Early in Jesus' story, we learn that Joseph was betrothed to Mary.  As they were preparing for the wedding, Joseph learned that his beloved was pregnant.


How would you respond?  Joseph may have been hurt, angry and could have sought revenge or to publicly shame her.  However, Mt. 1:19 states that he was "a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, (he) planned to send her away secretly."  My interpretation is that Joseph was capable of understanding the implications of publicly revealing her apparent unfaithfulness, and cared for her safety and needs even while refusing to continue the process of joining as a family.  In short, it appears to me that Joseph was neither a weakling who would place himself in a position of continuing to be wronged, nor was he a vengeful man who required public satisfaction for an apparent wrong suffered.


I am convinced that living as a man in relationship with God provides peace and strength to endure difficult circumstances, but is not a promise that we will never experience pain. We can choose to care for those around us, and extend our hands and hearts without a guarantee of reciprocity or safety. As C.S. Lewis is quoted as saying,

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one,

not even an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;

avoid all entanglements.  Lock it up safe 

in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless- it will change.

It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable,

impenetrable, irredeemable.  To love is to be vulnerable."

There is a powerful temptation for men, especially independent men in the Western world, to be the "strong, silent type." We watch movies about John Wayne, Dirty Harry or John McClane and think a "real man" should be a lone cowboy or a tough cop, capable of taking care of himself and those around him without needing assistance from anyone or anything.  However, this view directly contradicts the clear teaching and doctrine of the Christian faith. 

I Corinthians 12 refers to the church as the "body of Christ," and clearly teaches the interdependence on one another we must have to accurately reflect the love of Christ in our daily lives. V. 14 states that "the body is not one member, but many" and subsequent verses use examples from the human body to state that we need one another just as surely as the eye needs the ear to function to maximum potential.  V. 26 indicates that "if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; and if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it."

What would happen in our churches, our places of work, our families and our individual lives if we lived closer to this ideal of interdependence?  Of course some people will let us down at times, and we will also find ourselves failing to live up to the needs of those around us frequently. Humanity is flawed. Nevertheless, I am convinced that seeking to live according to the principle of accepting our interdependence, and reaching out with compassion, will lead us on the path to a more abundant life.  Risking greatly, and living with vulnerability, can help us to discover the truth expressed in Matthew 16:25- "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."

Compassion enables a man to love boldly, serving as a living witness of God's sacrificial love.  In future posts, I will share additional thoughts about faith, courage and wisdom as essential attributes of Christian masculinity.

What is a man? Thoughts on Christian masculinity

In an ever-changing world, definitions and roles of many types continue to shift. Technology and economic progress (and regression/economic hardship!) impact how we all live and interact with one another.  Changing patterns of human interaction, new questions about relationships and status, and increasing communication and mobility can make it very difficult to predict what the future holds- and how to successfully navigate a rapidly changing society.  This challenge is true for people of all economic classes, professional roles, and family relationships.

As a professional, evangelical male (and minister) I have been reading various books on the subject of Christian masculinity since my sister gave me a copy of "Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul," and I have subsequently read 2 additional books by this author (Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive, and Love & War: Finding the Marriage You've Dreamed of).  I have also participated in Men's Fraternity groups at my local church, and read some books by Robert Lewis in that setting.  Part of what drives me to explore this subject is my personal journey to understanding Christian masculinity in the 21st century, and my previous role in parish ministry and current chaplaincy career also inform my belief that many current churches fail to speak effectively to men. Some churches and ministries do an excellent job of reaching out to all people, but too many (in my opinion) present the Christian faith as a "soft" exercise of being nice, gentle and kind in this life, or emphasize eternity and making sure we "get to heaven" and avoid hell.  It is relatively rare (in my opinion) to find a faith community which offers resources and teachings that invite contemporary men to explore the adventure of discipleship, following God in becoming witnesses of a bold love and challenging faith.

In short, too few churches and ministers today offer a compelling answer to the question Robert Lewis asks via a poem in one of his books- "What is a Man?"

What is a man?

Is he someone who is strong and tall?

Or is he taut and talented as he plays ball?

Is he someone who is hardened and rough,

Who smoke and drinks and swears enough?

Is he someone who chases women hard,

With a quest to conquer, but never dropping his guard?

Is he someone with a good business mind,

Who gets ahead of the others with his nose to the grind?

Or is he someone who tries his best,

Not really caring about any of the rest?

What is a man? Does anyone really know?

TELL ME!

Who is the prototype? To whom shall I go?

In short, what does it mean to be a man of faith today?  With changing circumstances of recent decades in areas of family relationships, typical careers etc. the questions can be as simple as whether holding the door for a female colleague is polite or offensive, or as complicated as how to solve discipline problems with a child who lives with an ex-spouse.  Where can we turn for answers and principled guidance?

I remain convinced that basic principles can be timeless, and can be discerned carefully from examples in Scripture.  For this discussion, I intend to highlight four principles from the life of Joseph (Mt. 1-2).  I believe that Joseph was (and we can be today) men of integrity who demonstrate compassion, faith, courage and wisdom.

I will develop each of these principles more fully in additional blog posts in coming weeks. 

John Witherspoon: Forgotten Founder, Clergyman, Educator... Reese Witherspoon's Ancestor?

As we prepare to celebrate Independence Day, I have been thinking of one of the often-ignored influential signers of the Declaration of Independence in 1776.  John Witherspoon influenced the direction of early American history deeply, in his multiple roles as minister, educator, and statesman as the colonies transitioned into a sovereign nation.

The "Reese Witherspoon" connection is mentioned as a historical curiousity, and because my daughter is a huge "Legally Blonde" fan (I prefer her portrayal of June Carter Cash in "Walk the Line," personally). Multiple sources do indicate that these two Witherspoons are in fact related.

John Witherspoon was a Scottish Presbyterian minister, who moved to the colonies in 1768 to serve as the president of the College of New Jersey (now Princeton). This school, as with many other early educational institutions in America, had a primary goal of training of ministers for the expanding population. (Princeton had an early connection to Presbyterians, Harvard and Yale trained many Congregational ministers, Dartmouth's founder was a Congregational minister, and Columbia was originally Anglican).  Many of these institutions continue to have active programs of theological instruction, but are better known today for excellence in other academic areas.  Witherspoon served as a force for growth and stability for this institution until his death in 1794.

Witherspoon also influenced the direction of the emerging country in multiple ways.  One of his primary roles grew directly from his position as an educator- dozens of his students were central characters in America's founding.  The most prominent example is James Madison, who studied under Witherspoon from 1769-1772.  He is often referred to as the "Father of the Constitution" as well as serving in various political roles (including President from 1809-1817).  Multiple other students served as cabinet officers, senators, congressmen and state governors.  Perhaps his greatest influence on America was indirectly, by shaping the education and political philosophy of many early leaders.

However, his direct influence is often unrecognized.  John Witherspoon was active in the New Jersey political scene, and was selected as a delegate to the Continental Congress.  He served alongside more famous figures in this role from June 1776-November 1782, serving on many committees and speaking frequently to the formational issues of the young nation. As delegates debated whether the time was ripe to declare Independence, one famous quote attributed to Witherspoon is that we were "not only ripe for the measure, but in danger of rotting for the want of it." John Witherspoon was the only active clergyman and only college president to sign the Declaration of Independence.

As we celebrate Independence on this Fourth of July weekend, my hope is that we will offer thanks for the many known and unknown individuals who invested time and effort in our exceptional nation.

May God continue to bless America!

Thoughts on Religious Tolerance and Lessing's Parable of the Three Rings

I have not entered anything on this blog for quite some time, but recently came across a parable that I found interesting and challenging.  As a history buff, an American, and a minister, one of the most interesting time periods to me is the late 1700s.  This parable is from a play ("Nathan the Wise") by Gotthold Ephraim Lessing, published in 1779 in Germany.  In historical terms, the Protestant Reformation had its beginnings shortly before this time (1517) when Luther published his "95 theses" in Wittenberg.  In various places around the globe, Enlightenment philosophers were advancing the ideals of human rights and freedom of conviction, and traditional bonds between religous and political leadership were being challenged.

The Parable of the Three rings is set in Jerusalem at the time of the Crusades, during intense inter-religious conflict. The central characters are the Muslim Saladin, the Jewish Nathan, an unnamed Christian, and a judge.  Saladin poses a theological question to Nathan: "Your reputation for wisdom is great," he says.  "You must have studied the great religions.  Tell me, which is the best, Judaism, Islam or Christianity?"

"Sultan, I am a Jew" replied Nathan.

"And I a Muslim," responded Saladin, "and between us stands a Christian.  But the three faiths contradict one another.  They cannot all be true.  Tell me the results of your own wise deliberations.  Which religion is best?"

Nathan recognized the trap at once.  Any answer against "Islam" would offend the Muslim, and any answer except "Judaism" would place his own integrity under question.  Thus, instead of giving a direct answer, Nathan responded by relating this parable to Saladin:

In the Orient in ancient times there lived a man who possessed a ring of inestimable worth.  Its stone was an opal that emitted a hundred colors, but its real value lay in its ability to make its wearer beloved of God and man.  The ring passed from father to most favored son for many generations, until finally its owner was a father with three sons, all equally deserving.  Unable to decide which of the three sons was most worthy, the father commissioned a master artisan to make two exact copies of the ring, then gave each son a ring.  Each son believed that he alone had inherited the original and true ring.

But instead of harmony, the father's plan brought only discord to his heirs.  Shortly after the father died, each of the sons claimed to be the sole ruler of the father's house.  Each one based his claim to authority on the ring given to him by the father.  The discord grew even stronger and more hateful when a close examination of the rings failed to disclose any differences.

"But wait," interrupted Saladin, "surely you do not mean to tell me that there are no differences between Islam, Judaism and Christianity!"

"You are right, Sultan," replied Nathan.  "Their teachings and practices differ in ways that can be seen by all.  However, in each case, the teachings and practices are based on beliefs and faith, beliefs and faith that are at their roots the same.  Which of us can prove that our beliefs and our faith are more reliable than those of others?"

"I understand," said Saladin.  "Now continue with your tale."

"The story is nearly at its end," replied Nathan.

The dispute among the brothers grew until their case was finally brought before a judge.  After hearing the story of the original ring and its miraculous powers, the judge proclaimed his conclusion: "The authentic ring," he said, "had the power to make its owner beloved of God and man, but each of your rings has brought only hatred and strife.  None of you is loved by others; each loves only himself.  Therefore I must conclude that none of you has the original ring.  Your father must have lost it, then attempted to hide his loss by having three counterfeit rings made, and these are the rings that cause you so much grief."

The judge continued, "Or it may be that your father, weary of the tyranny of a single ring, made duplicates, which he gave to you.  Let each of you demonstrate his belief in the power of his ring by conducting his life in such a manner that he fully merits- as anciently promised- the love of God and man."

This parable challenges me.  As a Christian, I believe in the unique revelation of the Scriptures which form the foundation of the teachings I have received.  An ongoing struggle for each of us is to live daily in a manner which reflects the truths we profess to believe.  Perhaps this dichotomy is best summed up in a quote often attributed to Gandhi:

"I like your Christ.  I do not like your Christians.  Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

Can you go home again?

My house is gone.

I recently visited my hometown for the first time in years.  When I rounded a curve and looked for the house, I realized it was missing.  I vaguely remember a sister mentioning it was demolished, during our telephone conversation a couple of years ago, but I did not remember this change when planning our family's return visit.  The empty space made quite an emotional impact on me, and I had to collect myself before fully enjoying the visit with my children and siblings.

My father built our house, and completed it about a year before my birth.  My siblings and I lived there until marriage, college and/or careers took us to various places after high school.  My parents lived there until their deaths, and they were actually cared for in the home by family and Hospice caregivers as their lives were nearing an end.  We sold the property in the late 1990s, and a new owner recently built a much larger house on an adjacent property.  The yard I circled endlessly on my Suzuki dirt bike is now just a small corner of a lawn encompassing several acres.

This change is a tangible symbol of the passage of time, and fellow North Carolina native Thomas Wolfe used the statement "You Can't Go Home Again" in a famous novel about his life and changes.  In some ways, we yearn to return to family, friends and experiences we can never relive. Moments which have passed us by will now forever elude our grasp. In some ways, however, we can return and reconnect with those we love, and even build better and stronger bonds as we move along the journey of life together. My Christian faith also informs my belief that "home" is also a concept which transcends a building, or even this mortal body.  My true "home" is a spiritual connection with the God who loves each of us, and who calls us to an eternal relationship with him (and in some mysterious ways that I don't fully understand, with one another as well).

My children and I greatly enjoyed the visit "back home" in the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina and Tennessee.  We were able to visit family members, I had the opportunity to see high school friends, and I even hopped on a dirt bike for what one sister called my "Evel Knievel impersonation."

Maybe it wasn't exactly reliving my childhood, but in many ways it was a refreshing journey "home."  We'll be making that trip again soon.

"Why am I hurting if God loves me?

The question of pain and suffering is a perennial challenge to the notion that we have an all-powerful God who loves us. If I am in pain, and don't see how I have brought events upon myself, a natural question to ask is "Why?"

Countless books have been written on this question, and numerous sermons have sought to deliver effective answers. I recently heard a song which provides a helpful perspective as well- Laura Story's "Blessings."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

The background of this song is the struggle her family went through after her husband was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He had undergone surgery and recovered, but some challenges remained. Where is God in these circumstances? Can we accept an answer to prayer which looks different than what we wanted? Her response is that God's answer comes from His greater understanding, and blessings can be seen even through our tears.

In my own life, I have experienced times of joy and sorrow.  One difficult circumstance (and blessing) was caring for my father as he declined and ultimately passed away from pancreatic cancer.  As our family cared for him, with the assistance of Hospice staff, numerous events occurred which brought joy and pain simultaneously.  One blessing we witnessed was the repair of a conflicted relationship with another family member.  Without going into a lengthy discussion of the background and history, I will simply note that I had never witnessed this gentleman enter our home before that day ( I was a seminary student in my 20s at that time).  As my father's health deteriorated, and his imminent death became more evident, we found joy and hope in this restored relationship.  Emotional healing occurred even as a physical cure was not possible.

A theological basis for seeking answers to the "whys" of life, with faith and humility, is found in Genesis 50:20.  Joseph was the favored son of his father, his envious brothers sold him into slavery, and then led his father to believe he was dead.  After several years, a family reunion in Egypt during famine, and his father's death, his brothers approached him fearfully.  Joseph tells them ""you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." I am convinced that some circumstances are beyond my finite knowledge, and seek to live with a faithful trust that my heavenly Father will care for me much more effectively than I care for my own children- even if I question some of the directions life takes me at times.